Saturday, December 31, 2011

Secrets


Thirteen months ago I was the popular girl in my class. Thirteen months ago I was vying for Cheer Squad Captain. Thirteen months ago I was getting straight A's and never wore the same thing twice in a month. Thirteen months ago I met Dartsy.

I should rephrase. Of course I'd known her before, she had always been around, but... you know how sometimes you miss people who run in different circles? Well Darcy ran in all the circles my dad wouldn't dream of me hanging out in. That statement is not just restricted to my father either. Mom was just as bad. But
you know, I didn't really think I fit anyway with Darts' people, they all had piercings and leather jackets and families that came from hard places instead of lettermans and pompous attitudes.

I was privileged. You know, I have parents who play the stocks and eat in restaurants that have hundred dollar plates. They have all the tax breaks in the world and don't seem to give much of a shit about the fact that they're a lot better off than a majority of people. Of course, we gave to charity a couple of times a year, a nominal sum compared to the amount of money that floated around the household.

And I was painfully normal compared to her people too. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a pretty little mole on my upper lip. I was the physical epitome of normalcy and high school ideals. Not to mention my slightly shy and timid personality. I mean, I still hung out with my best friend from the first grade. We did everything together, from quitting girl scouts to trying out for the squad to getting our first boyfriends together. Of course, my thing with my only boyfriend didn't really work out. It was just... you know I was fifteen and it just wasn't there. Two years later I'm pretty sure I know why. In fact it's almost glaringly obvious now.

And you know with Darcy? Well it was there. All that fire and passion and scary emotion that was supposed to come with a relationship. All the stuff that hadn't been there prior. I was just sixteen and suddenly everything clicked into place. Here I was just noticing this beautiful punk girl noticing me while I ran through a routine to Alive With the Glory of Love and I just... wanted to know more.

I'd never been so curious about anyone in my life, and my suddenly stirring sexuality wasn't exactly helping. Cue me being far ballsier than normal and crossing the social boundaries line in my high school hallways and stealing the openly bisexual punk chick from her friends for a little conversation. Talk about my parents flipping a bitch if they ever found out that I even talked to someone like Dartsy, let alone... well, everything else.

So we kept our secrets. We met in secluded places and held hands when no one was looking and bonded over punk music and rebel hearts and did stupid teenage things like ditch class in favor of spending 'time' together underneath the bleachers. And I fell for her.


I wouldn't change any of it if I could.
~Harls