Saturday, March 3, 2012

California Paradise

Met up with another Runner. Real newbie little fucker, I think he's from the area, though he's not saying. Calls himself E. Seriously, what the ever-loving fuck is it with people going by one-letter names. Fucking hell, be a little creative, if you're not going to be using your real name.

I guess I shouldn't bitch too much. He's like... thirteen or fourteen. Weedy little brat. We don't normally do handouts, but kid looked like he could use a shower and a roof over his head for a night or two. Fuck, this is just going to bring more trouble down on our heads.

It doesn't help matters that's he's a filmer. Always got his goddamn camera out and running. Must eat batteries like hell. I asked, and he said he's not posting them anywhere, though he got really fucking twitchy when I was checking his things. Well, twitchier.

Harls met him earlier today on her way back home from work, and recognized the fucking symbol he has drawn on the shoulder of his jacket. Another fucking hoodie. Anyway, does anyone even fucking know what that fucking over-used, over-present symbol means? It just attracts attention, in my opinion. If you want to fucking lie low, you lie low. You don't go drawing shit all over. Anyway, I was suspicious at first, but the kid's harmless.

That's part of why I suspect he's a newb at this shit. Doubt he'd last long out there either way. The stuff he's got on him's good quality shit. Video camera, good quality backpack, fairly nice shoes. Had a suspicion that he's one of these "proxies" I keep hearing so much shit about., but this kid couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag, and you should've seen his face when he saw Harls starting to get sick again.

Yeah, she's been reasonable, but she's been worse-off at night recently than any other time.

Anyway, either that or he's a really fucking good actor. Doubt it, even in this town. He's asleep right now, taking over the extra bed. Snores like a fucking chainsaw, too. And yeah, he's got the goddamn camera up and running still, filming himself sleeping. How fucking ridiculous can you get, especially in a room with other people?

Sorry, been trying to work on the cussing, but it's obviously not sticking. It's just pretty much the only way for me to express the level of frustration and exasperation that's currently my usual state of being over the last few months, at least through text. I don't really cuss quite this much when actually talking to people in person. This is just me not bothering with the filters needed for face-to-face shit.

Also, the fuck is up with the formatting on this post?

Monday, February 27, 2012

You Drive Me Wild

She told me she loved me first. Who'd've thought? Dartsy in all her harsh words and cool exterior and torn up jeans... would be the first to move from "I like you very, very much" to "I love you" first. I'm not surprised.

It was at a show, one she was playing with her band, where she dragged me up to sing with her. I'm not a great singer, I don't know why that kept happening, but I had fun and it really made her smile. I'm not going to complain about making her grin.

Between a cover of 'You Drive Me Wild' and one of Darts' original punk ballads, she tugged me over to her and pulled me down to whisper it straight in my ear. Needless to say I was utterly caught off guard and immediately pulled an unexpected stage dive.

After the show I had to assure her that it had been a good response, not a run away forever sort of response.

And then I got to assure her... that I loved her too. Even if it's not conventional or traditional and my parents were giving me scrutinous looks out of the corner of their eyes when they thought I wasn't looking. "It's just a phase" was a popular saying in our house, even though I know damn well and better.

I love Darcy too. And it's a feeling that makes me soar even when I'm feeling at my lowest. Just felt like saying.